Recently, in a recovery meeting, I was reminded that we as alcoholics and addicts can choose to believe one of two intangible principles — faith or fear. Both are inherently human, one can propel us forward, and the other can debilitate us. I am someone who toggles between the two. At times, I will wallow in my fear and push my faith aside. Sometimes I can be disciplined and cling to something I cannot see. Blind faith, if you will. If I allow fear to prevail, the worst-case scenario begins to play out in my head and I have instantly rejected faith. This is detrimental to my sobriety and my serenity. If fear is given too much oxygen, I will get drunk!

Being willing to turn your life over to something or Someone you cannot see is difficult for people like us. We came into recovery convinced we were smarter than anything or anyone. Turning that over is a challenge in the beginning. For me, I was seeking a life raft I could physically hold. I was being asked to give up control and I was uncertain what that would look like. There was no hand descending from above to pull me back from the abyss. I just didn’t know how to put my trust in anyone but me.

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