Republican Legislators Go For Groceries, Forget the Milk

           Have you ever been ready to cook something at home only to realize you are out of the most important ingredient, like milk? Then, we all make that “quick” trip to the store to pick up some milk. You run into someone you know walking in and you talk for a little bit. When you finally get into the store, you grab one of those great deals or delicious treats they put just inside the entryway. As you walk down the aisles you see more great deals or delicious treats, so you grab those too. Then you think, “Well, while I’m here I might as well get everything else I planned to grab last week.”

            So you proceed to the all-out shopping trip. You grab stuff for the bathroom, stuff for the kitchen, socks, Throwback Pepsis (Christy and I never go shopping without a Throwback search), and finally that really big thing you always looks at, don’t need, and nobody else really wants, but you buy it anyway.

            You go through the checkout and realize you spent WAY too much. You load your sacks and sacks of groceries and then head home. This is when that little voice begins to fill the back of your head. You’ve forgotten SOMETHING, but you don’t know what.

            You think about this “something” all the way home, but you still can’t put a finger on it. You begin unpacking the multiple bags of groceries that you amassed while shopping. You start making an inventory of everything you bought. You start putting everything away, including the products that need refrigerating. Then the empty milk carton catches your eye. “I forgot the milk!!!!”

            Yes, we’ve all been there. I think our state legislators went there this past week when they all packed up and left Indianapolis at the end of the legislative session. They were sent to Indianapolis for one basic reason, but got distracted by the great deals, delicious treats, and the big thing nobody wants, nobody needs, but they bought it anyway.  I wonder if that little nagging voice entered their head as they were driving home? Did they think, “We forgot to do something. What IS it?”

            As they write their legislative summaries, to be published in the many local newspapers this week, they are taking an inventory of what they accomplished. I wonder if Perry County’s representative, Sue Ellspermann (R-Ferdinand), sat down and said…

“Well, let’s see. We punished public school teachers for their ruining of the economy, starting two wars, cutting taxes on GE and ExxonMobile causing us to borrow to pay for the wars, and making people invest in those credit default swaps. So that’s a big accomplishment.

“We took money from public schools like Perry Central, Tell City, and Cannelton and gave it to charter schools in Indianapolis and Evansville. Hmm, wonder how those Perry County kids will get to those charter schools? Oh, I’m sure there’s a bus or something. Either way, it’s a big win I’ll promote.”

“We punished those darn blue-collar workers for ruining the economy with their demands for average wages and lunch breaks. Let’s see how many of them qualify for unemployment now!”

“We once again reminded gay folks they aren’t welcome in our state. We reminded immigrants that Indiana is the Arizona of the Midwest. And, oh biggie here, we told all those women who use Planned Parenthood that their health comes second to our social holy war. Yeah, can’t forget the one we threw in there at the end!”

        Yes, the Indiana Legislature, which is controlled completely by the Republican Party, managed to grab all kinds of things off the shelf during the session. They got that big thing that nobody wants, nobody needs, costs a bundle but they bought it anyway; school vouchers. They also finally got to go after all the things and groups they been plotting on for decades: teachers, public education, organized labor, poor women, poor children, poor elderly, blue collar workers, the environment, non-wealthy rural populations, and higher education. All of these great deals and delicious treats proved too tempting for the legislature to ignore.  

        Still, I wonder at what point the empty milk carton will catch their eye. Perhaps it’ll get noticed as they travel to one of the many Lincoln Day Dinners that they will attend over the next few months. Perhaps it will be as they travel around their districts patting themselves on the back for all they did. Maybe, just maybe that empty factory will catch their eye and they will remember that one thing they were sent to Indianapolis to do. “We forgot jobs!!!!”